“Mommy, look at me! Now!”
- (As kid smeared self with paint and wanted to be…smiled at?)
“Daddy, I need you to fix this right now!”
- (Referring to a toy that needs new batteries)
As modern parents, work often permeates our lives almost 24/7 in constant stream of emails and digital demands. Juggling so many things at once, we surely all been short fused when incessantly nagged by our child/children who demand our immediate attention on something we (adults) deem considerably less urgent.
In the process, deciding after mere glances that our kids can and should wait, our busy important selves, may then have said some things in a hurry, in a manner we use to talk to our adult peers and accidentally inflict unnecessary hurt to our young kids… Not knowing how to properly process the context, tone and the meaning of the words, our youngsters then may jump into less than desirable conclusions.
Subconscious frequent repeats of these may then create irreversible psychological dents.
“Sigh!” our tired selves mused..”what are we to do?”
I realize that perhaps re-phrasing are merely over simplified ways to cope with the many demands as modern parents. Nevertheless, for me, addressing my kids in more neutral & positive manners have certainly worked better and rewarded me with more empathy and less frequent nagging from my children.
Examples of rephrasing:
- Parent: “I’m Busy!” (child concludes: “oh, too busy for me? :(“) → Parent rephrase to: “I’ll be with you in — minutes”, and of course, keep the promise!)
- Parent: “Go away, I need to get this done now” (child thinks: “Mommy/Daddy doesn’t want me?”) → Parent rephrase to “Give me time to get this done? So I can play with you soon..”
- Parent: “I have NO TIME to play with you” (child thinks: “am not as important?”) → Parent rephrase to “I can’t right now, but am trying to finish this so I can”
Hope the above are helpful for fellow parents! Good luck! 🙂 #BONDwBoL http://www.bubblesoflove.net
The author (twitter: @LilyDawis) is a mother of 3 kids below 8. She also works, composes & writes contents for families. Her first album; Bubbles of Love, is the first and only album from Indonesia registered in the United States Copyright Office. If you like what you read, please subscribe and feel free to share. Thank you for reading!